Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I hate Emotions
Sometimes I feel like the most lazy person in the world. I have tried to motivate myself to do homework but I always find something to distract me. I just got a 72 in Genetics for this reason. There was nothing difficult about the test at all... I just did not study. Ever since I was a kid, I tried to emulate my parents. Not only did they come from poor/super poor families, they now hold masters+ degrees. They got that far for the fact that they don't stop working. They are constantly progressing/working on something. They do take time to enjoy life and the such but it seems that every day, they do not regress. How!? I have tried to do this and it is so damn hard. I want to do all this cool stuff: be a doctor, have a great family, coach my children, travel to Europe.... etc. etc. and I am struggling to keep this idea in my head that I actually came from my parents. I'm pretty sure the lazy stork dropped me on my head through the roof and Voila! I have so many vices that hold me back. I have been searching for so long, a way to motivate myself everyday. It comes in spurts: after movies, after books, after exercise, after watching people piss away their opportunities with things like drugs. I'm not completely innocent but I have realized that they are of no use. If you are an aspiring artist that uses, can you really take credit for what you have made? Nevertheless, due to my hypochondriac tendencies I get daily reminders that life is fragile. We invent new diseases everyday and yet cures every 20 years. I can't let this slip from me now; I'm at my prime. I should be at my best so that when I can no longer stand, see, or feel, I can die with dignity(knowing that what I saw and wanted to be is properly reflected in the mirror). I want my parents to know that the promise made by me will be held and kept until I am in the grave. Volver. I was a last chance and they still counted on me, it's only fair that I do the same. Legacy. My creation, a perpetuation of an idea that was committed to with conviction that is infallible, unjustifiable, and omnipotent. Something that hammer and time can't touch. Breathe with me, breathe the same air as I and aspire the same. We can become the change and never fail.
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2 comments:
i dont understand why these are just being posted but it says they were posted in oct. but that has nothing to do with anything. this post reminds me of the movie big fish. its a good one. just do your thing. im almost positive you are going to be one of the most successfull of my friends in life. youre a smart kid with a lot of ambition and thats hard to come by these days. just leave a good mark and the people you meet and your legacy will go on. just like in big fish! i want to watch that. right now.
Okay so I just wasted away 10 min of my life trying to decide if I really want to leave a comment. I'm not a comment-leaving-especially on a stranger's blog w/whom I stumbled across-kind of person. However one time a stranger left a comment on my blog, and w/all speculation aside as to whether they were creepy, I decided it really made me feel good...so maybe I can reciprocate that feeling..hopefully instead the other potential feeling of thinking I'm a creepy loser.. which isn't that far away from the truth...but anyway I'm from Mesa and was reading Kimri's blog..she probably has no idea because I'm a blog stalker..anyway I just wanted to say, I wish I had met you when you were here in Mesa, you seem really funny and intune with life. Anyway good luck in Texas, AZ is better.
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